The fall has started with a lot of uncertainty. Parents are reporting their teens are having anxiety and panic attacks. Many individuals are feeling the same way. The overwhelming question parents and individuals are asking is what can I do for my loved one, or myself, when they are having extreme anxiety?
When we are having anxiety the front of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, begins to shut down. This part of the brain is responsible for sequencing information, rational thought, and recalling details. These are all important features to daily function. To further complicate things, the limbic brain, or emotional brain, becomes over active making us react in big emotional ways. The key is to respect this imbalance while slowing this process down.
Here are few tips for regulating your, or someone else's, anxiety in order from crisis intervention to sophisticated cognitive reframes:
1.) Bring it back to the body- Bringing the person back into their body is helpful for grounding and slowing down fight or flight. It also brings us back into the present. The best way to do this is to breathe. Try a breath where the person has to count which is a simple cognitive sequencing task- this will turn the front of the brain back on and slow down the limbic brain.
2) Bring it back to the sensory system- Ask the person to name three things they see in the room and then ask them to name them in reverse. Take the person outside and ask them to to touch the grass or smell the air. This brings them back into their sensory system and sequencing. It also brings them into the present moment which takes them away from their predicted fears.
3) Touch- Touch is very regulating for the limbic system. Try giving a good squeeze. You can hold your own arms and squeeze your way down them with the opposite hand. This is very comforting snd will calm you down. I tell parents to do this with dis-regulated children. And we can tell teens to do it to themselves.
4) Simple cognitive tasks- Because the front of the brain is shutting down, now is not the time to ask this person to attempt complicated cognitive tasks. Asking this person to challenge their thoughts is just not going to work. A simple cognitive task can be finding step one in the event which is causing the panic. For example the panic stems from going to school: step one can be taking a shower, or walking to the front door.
5) Test the reality of the situation- Ask the person what they notice about their surroundings. What is the reality of the situation. Decipher between reality and what they imagine to be true. Ask them if they have ever felt this way before? What was the outcome? Were they ok? This shows that what they fear is not necessarily going to happen. And they are resilient.
6) Validate- Validate your or someone else's fear. Have compassion, anxiety is a really hard experience. And then remember your own resilience. Perhaps push but not too much. Ask the person if they have hit their limit and accept and respect that limit.
FUN FACT: The body has a natural response to squeeze when we are stressed. Allowing the body something specifically meant for squeezing releases the need to do it throughout the whole body. Try getting a stress ball and squeezing it and see if this relieves the tension in the rest of your body.