OK, so your anger is a bit big these days. You have things to be angry about: your’e cramped up in your house, haven’t been to a movie in months, haven’t seen other people and are beginning to fray at the seams. Th country is in political turmoil and either way you bend there is something to be upset about.
You are worried that your anger is going to consume you.
Boy, can I relate!
So how do we control our anger? A a child therapist, I often ask children to draw their anger’s size in relation to themselves. They usually they draw their anger on a much bigger scale. This tells me that they can’t control their anger. After all, our anger has to be our size or smaller to be on equal ground with us.
If you could draw your anger how big would it be? The size of a T-Rex?
Here are few tips to help you control your anger and ultimately feel like you can get up each day and do what needs to be done:
1) Exercise! Anger is actually energy which is mobilized in us. When we are angry we need a place to expend that energy. Do something that requires real physical exertion. Get all of that pent up energy out (I recently tried my first boot camp class and that did the trick!).
2) Wring it out- Take a hand towel and saturate it with water under the faucet. Then wring all of the water out as hard as you can. Or get a stress ball and squeeze it. Repeat until you feel less impulsive.
3) Bio feedback- Recently I saw my little nephew squeezing his own arms when he was angry at his brother. I asked him why he did this and he said “it stops me from hitting him”. BRILLIANT! This is a demonstration of bio-feedback; using your own body to create a sensation or experience which we need. Squeezing your own arms can be soothing as well as give us bio feedback of having a physical restraint.
4) Meditate- I can’t stress enough the importance of meditating. Try just watching your sensations for a few minutes; identifying the comfortable ones. Or do a gratitude meditation. These practices alter our brain chemistry which contributes to a sense of calm.
5) Healthy distraction- The mind can only prioritize one things at a time. If you are really angry now may not be the time to try and process that anger. Instead read a book, listen to a comedy show, try something which takes concentration. All things fluctuate, this feeling will too it just needs a little time.
6) Talk to someone- Perhaps it is time to reach out for professional help, or perhaps there is a support group for the thing you are struggling with. Or even a friend who truly understands. Or write it down in a journal. Either way, don’t bottle it up inside…that will just makes the anger bigger and it will erupt.
I hope this is helpful and as usual if you have something to contribute we would love to hear from you just write your contribution in the box below….